Fixing a Fixer

From the desk of Leigh Ann . . .

“And they lived happily (aside from a few normal disagreements, misunderstandings, pouts, silent treatments, and unexpected calamities) ever after.”  – Jean Ferris

I am a fixer.  That’s right – I have an overwhelming need to fix things.  My husband calls it my “storybook complex.”  I want everything to run smoothly and everyone to live happily ever after, so I have a tendency to run interference.  The problem is, if I create the quick fix for my students, I am not helping them grow as independent problem solvers.  This is a flaw I have been trying hard to correct.

In the course of everyday life, we all continuously bump into obstacles that stand between us and what we want to accomplish.  As adults, we have developed the problem solving skills to navigate these barriers.  For our children, these problem solving skills require time, modeling, and practice, just like the academic skills we address each day in our classrooms.

It takes intentional practice to help our children grow in developing problem solving skills, so:

• Stop and take time to address and define problems when they arise.  Encourage children to use words to explain their concerns.  Cool off when upset and then speak directly to each other using kind words.  The problem is not “Jimmy is mean!”  The problem is “Jimmy has the book I want to read and he won’t give it to me.”  Defining the problem helps lead to potential solutions.
• Identify ways to solve the problem.  Mediate and have children talk about a few possible solutions.  Encourage them to come up with more than one quick fix.  Talk about the pros and cons of each plan and listen to each other respectfully.  “We could share the book or he can pass it to me when he finishes.”
• Choose a solution and put it to work.  Restate the plan and make sure everyone agrees to try to follow it.  “Will you please pass the book to me when you finish, so I can have a turn to read it too?”
• Revisit and evaluate your results.  Ask the children how their plan worked.  Try another solution if the first one was unsuccessful.

We want to encourage our students to be independent problem solvers.  They need to play with the problem, test ideas, and adjust their thinking to find good solutions.  We need to provide a classroom climate that encourages children to be comfortable taking risks discussing their feelings and problem solving solutions.  When our students build the strategies to be independent problem solvers, they will begin to develop the confidence to tackle problems themselves, rather than running to the teacher for the quick fix.