Respect

From the desk of Carol C…

 The school year has started for most teachers and children.  Open House is over, and now it’s time to begin to establish a positive relationship with our students and their families.  I believe it is our responsibility in cooperation with the families to establish a relationship of trust.  This takes some effort on both sides, but it can be done.

Sometime back, I taught at a school where we, the teachers, had to call each of our student’s family within the first two weeks of school.  With everything else piled on at the start of a school year, it was hard to muster up the enthusiasm to talk to anyone by the time I got home at night.  I was so nervous at the thought of talking to all of those families that first year.  I must admit though it paid off in the long run.  The beginning of the year phone call was to let the families know how and when they could get in touch with me, say something nice about their child, and see if they have any questions.  Even though some didn’t show it at the time, this phone call always meant a great deal to the families.  It showed I cared about their child as an individual, and it opened the door to the beginning of a good working relationship.

Each year after making these calls home, it was much easier for me to let families know when there was a problem at school.  My first one-on-one conversation with them was not a negative one.  I didn’t pop out of the blue and tell them, “Betsy spent all day talking and not completing her work”.  These are not the first words that anyone wants to hear about their children.  Now not every parent reacts the same way to a less than positive interaction with their children’s school.  Some are grateful to you for catching the problem early while others would rather the school handle everything.  Regardless of their reaction it is up to us to keep the lines of communication open.

When I did have to talk with families about behavior problems in the classroom, I really had to think through how I was going to approach them without making them defensive yet get my point across.  A psychologist several years ago told me anyone can say anything to anybody as long as it’s kind, thoughtful, and honest.  I had to ponder this for a while, but I came to the conclusion it’s true.  At times we all fall into the trap of being kind and thoughtful in what we say but not completely honest; or we focus only on being honest and forget about being kind and thoughtful.  There’s a huge difference between, “Your child is fine with other children in the class” when he is not and “Your child is socially inept.”  Both are unfair to the child and the families.  The families aren’t given the truth in the first scenario, so they are unable to work on the problem.  In the second example, well that one seems obvious.  It’s neither kind nor thoughtful.  It’s just judgmental.

I guess I’m trying to say positive relationships with families are one of the keys to  their children’s success.  Building these connections is worth the extra time and effort it takes because it benefits everyone.