5 Ways Middle Schoolers are Just Like Preschoolers
As parents, we are prepared for the terrible twos, the fearsome fours, and the possible trauma of starting kindergarten. We talk about our youngest kids incessently, read books and articles and painstakingly get advice from others. We calm our parenting fears and we catch our breath when they are well into elementary school. Then one day we wake up and have a middle schooler. Many of us look at this sudden alien in our home and wonder, “what happened and what do I do now?”
Fortunately (or unfortunately) I have a middle school child and preschoolers. The comparisons are so obvious, I thought I would share a few:
1. Crying is frequent and NORMAL. The preschoolers are searching for independence and want to be in control more than anything. Ditto for the middle school child. When met with a barrier, both will erupt into tears quickly. The tears are normal. Just take a deep breath and don’t add your own.
2. Guard your food. Preschoolers are learning about foods they like, dislike, and don’t always have the discipline to make the best choices for their health. Middle school kids are the same way. They will devour a bag of cheetos, plow through ice cream, eat an entire pizza, drink a jug of juice and then ask you what you are fixing for dinner. Or whine because their stomachs hurt and they don’t know why. Again- the best offense is a good defense. Lock the cabinets.
3. Nothing fits. Preschoolers outgrow clothes in spurts and what fits on one day doesn’t fit the next. The same holds true for middle school students. Their bodies are changing as rapidly as they did as small children. Not only are you frustrated with the clothes that don’t fit, they are too. They are having to get used to their budding bodies AND trying to look cool while doing it. At least the preschooler can still pull off not having to match their clothes!
4. Sleep is your friend. Preschoolers still need naps and/or early bedtimes because it is when their body recharges, their brains process the stimulus from the day, and they can wake up refreshed. Research shows that the body of middle school students are literally changing at the same rate as INFANTS. We would never deny our sweet babies sleep and we need to keep this in mind with the middle schooler because it is biological. The bonus of the sleeping middle schooler is that they, too, can wake up refreshed and unlike the bear they were went they went into hibernation. Sleeping until mid-morning this summer? Yes Ma’am-at least that cuts down on the breakfast foods.
5. Socializing can be a trainwreck. Part of being a preschooler is to begin to understand the social rules of playing together, sharing, trying new things, and manners with friends. During the middle school years, this is on a large scale. Their appear to be new rules due to the increase of social options and managing these changing relationships take practice. The middle school child needs to be in different situations (safely) multiple times to figure out their place. They need gentle reminders on what is appropriate, what is not appropriate, and how to manage conflicts. Think of the movie theater as “The Movie Center” and you will quickly be able to establish some center rules!
So the next time you are wondering what is going on with your middle school child, just picture that sweet preschooler in pigtails, having a fit on the floor about not getting to see the end of Dora. Same thing.